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 What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   27-06-03 19:27

Sorry, it's a Friday evening and I have just finished my first week off another exile back in Ireland.

Boring bus journey back to Naas caught in the traffic of the spotty hordes driving to Punchestown to see Eminem and I got to thinking what is the worst beer I have had the displeasure to drink.

Killian's Red in a number of pubs in Boston, and one in Hampton Wick. By far the worst of my life, and I have drunk some shocking brews !!!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   27-06-03 22:54

Kealy,
I once helped an American whose car had broken down out in deepest Essex. In grateful thanks he gave me about four or five bottles of Schlitz, "the beer that made Milwaukee famous".
Most people would surely dismiss its unique taste as "indescribable" but I'll try. Imagine, if you can, a shandy made up of Theakston's " Old Peculiar" and Lucozade.
Last year I was having dinner out with my son, Danny's, in-laws in Houston, Texas, and I told them this story. They'd had a drink. One of them asked me how many bottles I'd drunk. I said " all of 'em". When the hysteria had died down one of them called me "a goddammed liar".

I was also once on a club trip to Brive. Down there they drink a raspberry flavoured beer called something like "coquorico". Try it sometime, Kealy; I think you'll find it......."interesting".
SlÓn leat go foill,
Russell O'C

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Duggers 
Date:   28-06-03 18:59

Tartan Special....no question.......brewed at the same brewery as SKOL...


you know your tastebuds are gone if you ever start enjoying a pint o speshal....on the other hand there is also McEwans Export......the red death........

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   28-06-03 20:39

Schlitz is by far the worst beer I have ever drunk. It gives you the mother of all hangovers, but it is impossible to get P*ss*d on the rotten stuff

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: MrsGoz 
Date:   28-06-03 22:52

Warm!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ascotintheantipodes 
Date:   29-06-03 01:39

A week on Smithwicks(???) at Roundstone in Galway (or is it Connamarra)would have to be the worst in my life....filthy stuff

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Matt of London Irish 
Date:   29-06-03 10:31

I shall never forget the dreadful beer experience that was Calder during our visit to Edinburgh for the European Cup.

Absolutely dreadful and a terrible reminder of The Watney Party 4 experience of the early and mid 70's

Matt

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   29-06-03 11:42

Well, if we are going back to the early 70's pre-CAMRA days then it has got to be Starlight and Watneys Red Barrel.

Makes todays Interbrew Euro-fizz shoite look very good !

Note: Watney are still the only company who have managed to dilute water !!

What's Watneys Red Barrel and making love in a canoe got in common ?

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: anthony 
Date:   29-06-03 13:15

Colt 45

This is the worst...... isnt it?

vile stuff

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: HookRoyal 
Date:   29-06-03 21:53

Schlitz and Killian are up there as the worst, but the one that has the worst effect on me is "Miller Genuine Draught" but only ythe canned variety brewed in Puerto Rico, it makes me go completely nastily drunk. Bottled or euro brewed ones are O.K.

Any smooth flow bitter has got to be bad as it is Oxymoronic, "Smooth Bitter".
Export Guinnes as brewed by the Belikin Brewey in Belize, bottled guinnes at 8% in 30░ C just does not work.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Green, white and Gary Gold 
Date:   29-06-03 23:35

the warm (i kid u not) pint of 'extra cold guinness' I had at the kassam stadium today at the U21 world cup final. They ran out of lager and had cans of tetleys smooth (vaguely cold) as the only other option. And people think the madstad is bad. Those of you who have had the misfortune to watch the 2 LI games at the kassam won't believe that it was actually warm in the stadium today - i couldn't believe it!!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   30-06-03 08:53

Cruzcampo from Seville. Not a lager, not a plisner(as it says it is) truly feckin awful. Mind you the glasgow alky horades guzzled it by the gallon

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: BrianC 
Date:   30-06-03 09:20

Whilst we're on the subject of truly awful beers, does anyone remember Double Diamond? Not quite as bad as Red Barrell but gave it a good run for it's money.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   30-06-03 09:26

It worked wonders for me Brian.

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   30-06-03 09:52

..... and from the same Ind Coupe pub era..... Long Life on draught !

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   30-06-03 11:04

When I was a wee lad. Back in nineteen hundred and frozen to death, my dear old dad, (who was a really tough and durable chap six two, and 17 stone of firm stuff). Bought a watneys pale ale party four. He opened it on Christmas Eve, and drunk the last drops on New years eve.

He then proceeded, and I quote his very words, to "shiver and shake, go hot and cold, and Sh1te throughy the eye of a dress makers needle until twelfth night"

Were he alive now, I am sure he would say that that ws deffo the worst beer.

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   30-06-03 11:07

AG................................in Tokyo

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: BrianC 
Date:   30-06-03 11:46

Viks, I know what you mean. In the Far East market bottled AG is a very strong, thick, sticky sweet concoction totally unlike the drink we know and love over here. I bought a bottle once when I was in Malaysia, never again.

It's also pitched at a different market. The advertising shows things like a guy stepping out of his ferarri, stepping into the casino and ordering an AG whilst gorgeous girls are throwing themselves at him. Not quite the same brand image as in the European market.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   30-06-03 12:21

Despite what my learned uncle, and maybe Mutts would perhaps say to the contrary, I found the AG in Brisbane and other parts of the merry ol' land of Oz to be most disagreeable, but drinkable ina desparate alky kind of way.
However, I think the draught Newcastle Brown and Mc Ewan's export over there may have been worse.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   30-06-03 12:30

Talking of Oz, I tried some stuff over there called Coopers Ale....... which if poured out of the pint crown corked bottle slowly into a glass doesn't taste too bad. However, these bottles have 6mm of yeast sediment at the bottom and the Ozzies shake the frigging bottle before serving it. Yuk !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: kevin 
Date:   30-06-03 12:45

When times was bad we were forced to buy Vaux 'Silver'. Yuk! Could have put me off alcohol for life.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: dom_pedro 
Date:   30-06-03 12:59

I'd go with Brian's Malaysian Guinness as the worst, but the draught stuff rather than the bottles. I think they brew it somewhere locally with local water ... there's a strong tang of preservative to it too.

But talking of time's being bad, I'm sure I've stooped to drink Colt 45 in the past ... not to mention Merrydown and Tenants Super snakebite.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   30-06-03 13:07

Brian,

It was a pint, not in bottles. However, I don't like guinness at the best of times so I guess I was never going to like it much out there!!!!

Vaux is a nasty brew. Wouldn't touch it with someone else's bargepole!

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Saintsby 
Date:   30-06-03 13:47

Brew 10 (or as we knew it 'spew10'

Agree ref DD double diamond

Lagers - Long Life,, ... yewch!

Castlemaine xxxx (Q Why do the Ausies call their beer xxxx, A Cos they can't spell P**s!)

Skoll it'l turn you into a troll

Also remember a usually nice bitter from the Lake District, Hartleys of Ulverston. Some years back me and a number of mates (6 )got rat legged on some slightly off Hartleys....Blimey I think we burnt the tents afterwards. Or as one mate said the morning after "You need two a*******s with that stuff! t'aint fair on one.
Lake district walking ...happy days!





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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Worried of Whitton 
Date:   30-06-03 15:54


.. The pint that masquerades as being London Pride

at the pub I pass on the way to the Stoop and HQ

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   30-06-03 16:35

I have to say that down here, they just don't know how to serve decent beer. I can't remember the last time I got a pint of bitter with a proper head on it. Is it just a northern thing to have a head on bitter - hardly ever see it down south!

As I'm sure Coochie will vouch, you need to go to the Dog & Gun (think that's the name, I never can remember it) between Denholme & Oxenhope for a pint of Timmy Taylor's Landlord. It's well worth a small detour on your way up to the Leeds game. And whilst I'm on my soapbox, find a decent chippy up there too, you'll discover what you've been missing all these years.

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: alex22 
Date:   30-06-03 17:09

Well for any of you who've ever lived in the Nottingham area you will know that there used to be three local breweries - Hardy Hanson/Kimberleys, Shipstones and Home Ales. None of them were worth writing home about and the Shipstiones was positively dire (on a par with Double Diamond), but as a student they had one big advantage - they were very cheap. I can recall buying a gallon of Kimberleys in a pub in Beeston in 1979 and having enough change from ú2 to get a bag of chips on the way home!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   30-06-03 17:29

ooh ohh - I've got it. Worst beer ever HAS to be Dogbolter that they serve in the Firkin Pubs. I got a free pint as a student when The Friar & Firkin opened in Lancaster and I could not bring myself to drink the whole pint.

Yes, a student refusing free beer - there HAS to be something wrong with it

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   30-06-03 18:43

Fatboy mentioned a "Party Four". Do you remember their big brother, the "Party Seven"? You used to use a kind of triangular s***** thing to open them with. By the time one had fallen off a motor-bike a couple of times on the way to the party, been rolled along the pavement with your feet 'cos your hands were full of bottles and then been fought over in the kitchen it was like sweating gelignite.
When the s***** thing first pierced the skin the whole kitchen would be instantly re-decorated in a tasteful shade of "Kentish Hopfield".
When your mate's parents returned and saw the state every molecule of his Mum's body-mass would convert itself to pure energy according to the formula e=mc2.
SlÓn libh go foill,
Russell O'C

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   30-06-03 19:25

"triangular s***** thing"........ you mean a screwdriver !!

The posh people had those things for them which looked like a mini beer tap with a sparklet CO2 bulb screwed in !

Halcyon days !

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   30-06-03 20:17

Screwdriver ? That s***** thing was the girlfriend's stilletto heel in our part of the world. How to ruin a shoe and decorate a kitchen in one go.

This has been really entertaining reading, it has also dredged up memories of other foul brews which I will add in a bit. However I still stick with Killian's Red in the Tam O'Shanter in Boston. It is the only pint that I have not finished ever....my request for a refund was greeted with amazement by the barman. Even worse than my mate's first attempt at homebrew (aged 16) back in Worcester.

Ah what the hell, here goes.

Ansell's Bitter for anyone else brought up my side of the Midlands. I was staggered to find this on draft in a bar in Italy in the shadow of the Matterhorn on a ski-ing trip. Like a moth drawn to light I had to try it just for the surreal circumstances I found it in. It was truly as awful as I remembered.

Double Diamond - we're only here for the beer - no, not the worst for me.

Triple Crown Bitter in a number of pubs in London. Cheap and nasty, oh so nasty.

Ward's Bitter in the Princess Louise, Holborn. However I never had a decent pint of bitter from there - a so-called beer pub.

ESB

Some stuff on Jersey back in uni days. St Mary's Bitter maybe ? Nearly as bad as Killian's come to think of it.

I have not had the (dis)pleasure of trying Schlitz. I now feel I have to.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   30-06-03 20:21

I've even been known to drink Michelob in that alchy emptying of the fridge at 5am kind of night. UGH!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: MrGoz 
Date:   30-06-03 21:43

In the cr*p beer stakes I feel an honourable mention should be given to Pelforth, the gunky brown beer the French make.

Worst ever experienced was a pint of Darleys on a night out in York - spent the next week driving the porcelain bus.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   30-06-03 21:53

Viks has reminded me of the Firkins.

Can anybody honestly say that they have never left behind a pint of any Firkin "featured beer".

But what about cider????

As a teenager, I used to drink in the "half moon" in Boyon street in Brighton. The locals called it "the Brain"

They had all the barrels of Scrumpy on the bar.

there was.

Rough, smooth, sweet, strong, and the best of all. Euphamistically called

"Mixed". for mixed read recycled. It tasted just like someone elses pavement pizza.

But it was cheap

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   30-06-03 22:38

Hey, what was the name they used to have for Guinness and Cider mixed?
Was it called "Black Velvet" or was that the name of the band?
Some guys used to drink Guinness and barley wine mixed. I had a swig of that once. It's got the kind of taste that the doctor would say "You aren't going to like this at all....but it WILL finally cure your herpes." So down it goes!!
Russell O'C

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: John H 
Date:   30-06-03 22:54

For those of you nostalgic for Double Diamond, I was somewhat taken aback to go into what I think was called the George and Dragon pub in Rimini in Italy only last year and find it on sale. For old times sake, I had to have a pint. I can confirm it has not improved with age.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Green, white and Gary Gold 
Date:   30-06-03 23:16

at college we produced a snakebite made with kronenburg and K cider (approx 8% ABV) and called it a scud so we had to produce a patriot - K cider, imperial russian stout (approx 10% ABV) and a touch of blackcurrant for ....... well because it tasted so foul!

I remember walking into a pub that did murphys and not AG - 'we'll have 4 pints of murphy's please' - the barman shoved a pint glass under the tap, pressed a button and walked off, a gurgling was followed by a high velocity spray that produced a pint of warm murphy's in about a second. 'Hold the other 3 murphys we'll have 3 pints of the local brew -scratching, lesser spotted crow (or something like that).

Excellent beer in exeter called Owd Roger - a bottle of port poured into each barrel - went down a treat but qualifies for this thread as giving one of the worst hangovers ever.

Modified 30/06/03 22:18:24

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ascotintheantipodes 
Date:   30-06-03 23:33

For WC visitors to the land down under BEWARE.... especially the English hordes....there are a few nasty drinks down here
In Perth WA there is SWAN - OK if there is nothing else but be careful of EMU...guaranteed to get you going from both ends ( what am I doing? I should be recommending this stuff esp. to the Eng. players... then sit back and laugh)

South Aust beers OK except for Southwark....almost as bad as emu

Victoria.. CUB products, eg Fosters etc generally OK but NSW....

many years ago I was driving my father through western NSW and on one of our many stops I gave him a "middie" of RESCHS...well, not even wee Jimmy from Glasgow could drink this stuff on a hot day in the Outback

There are many surprises that await you in the Aussie slops!!!!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: HookRoyal 
Date:   01-07-03 00:23

Maclir wheat beer from the Isle of Man.

I tried this beer at the good food show last november, it came from a freshly opened bottle and tasted truly awful, ( Yes I have had wheat beer before and am quite partial to it) It was so awful that I had to spit it backinto the glass.

A few weeks ago they had a few bottles in my lolcal safeway so I decided toi give it a second chance, 2 mouthfuls and the rest of the bottle went down the drain.


A truly awful beer.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Hazza 
Date:   01-07-03 02:20

The Truscott Arms in Maida Vale serves Owd Roger. If you order a second pint, the landlord stares hard at you and asks "Are you sure, are you really sure, you may live to regret this" etc etc. Apparently the only regular takers of a second pint are people from the BBC studios nearby, but they're probably attempting amnesia.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: AlecW 
Date:   01-07-03 07:05

Kealy - I agree re the Princess Louise, but Ward's is actually quite nice stuff - try it in Sheffield (where it's brewed)...!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: AlecW 
Date:   01-07-03 07:13

My worst ever beers:-

Miller Sh1te on draught at the Union Society Cambridge mid '80s (note apostrophe, Rob!).

Harp - really, really nasty stuff.

Something called a "mix" (Harvest Brown Ale & cheap bitter half & half - we used to drink in the College Bar).

A weissbier I had in Frankfurt a couple of years ago called Makenfahrt or something equally stupid. Had quite improbably bad effects on my (and my boss's) digestion.

But the accolade has to go to the most desperate excuse for a "beer" I have ever come across...

Skol. The worst. By a long way.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   01-07-03 07:29

Hazza,

Owd Roger !! Now you are talking...... oh happy memories of my youth !

If you meet my wife, feel free to ask about her experience with the stuff !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Green, white and Gary Gold 
Date:   01-07-03 08:41

hazza

the truscott arms - oh happy days! Do they still do the Truscott Ten?
Methinks there may be an Owd Roger fan club here- now there's an excuse for a get together.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   01-07-03 09:23

Viks,
you have stirred painful memories of Dogbolter!
Nasty nasty stuff. A uni rugby pub crawl ended badly for me on that stuff........

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   01-07-03 09:55

...as a callow youth of 20 summers I travelled to London for an interview. Wise enough though to allow for a day to recover following the horror that probably still is the overnight Stranraer-London train.

Anyhar, met up with some fellow BAFTA award winning chums (another yarn for another time) at the BBC Club in Lime Grove. Offering to get them in, ordered an AG for meself, and, a hearty draught later I was back at the bar.

"Sorry mate, it would appear your Guinness is off."

The response was a little unexpected, as the quite congenial barman pointed to a customer, also drinking AG, and informed me that this punter had never once complained in 20 years. He had also apparantly, never drunk AG outside the London Borough of Sheperd's Bush!

The alternative turned out to a rather pleasant Real Ale - I've been a fan ever since.


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: sussexhugh 
Date:   01-07-03 11:10

Can I sink so low as to mention ........Tesco Value Lager

Surely nothing nastier has ever been made.....and who buys it????? (not me before you mention it)

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   01-07-03 11:40

"Steiger" in cans.
I've a brother who boasts of drinking copious amounts with no effect. Why?


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   01-07-03 11:50

Kealy,

I can't belive you've started this. Some of us are now going to be on the lookout for some of the aforementioned pints and trying them to see if they are better or worse than the ones we've nominated ourselves. Can I suggest you have a quiet word with yourself in the corner and we talk about the best bitters we've had - then we can research them and all have a much happier time

Someone (can't remember who) gave me a list of pubs who serve Timmy Taylors Landlord around London, so I'll be taking Prof on a bar crawl when I have a bit of free time, see if they measure up. (I'll be avoiding Firkins if I come across any!) All welcome to join us in an attempt to banish the nasty memories we clearly have

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   01-07-03 20:22

Sorry Viks,

I shall go and chasten myself with a few pints of Dublin AG as I am now working for the AIB in the Fair City for the next 8 months.

Killian's - my personal beer nemesis - is not to be tried. Honest. Believe me. I ain't lying.

Any chance of passing on the list of London boozers that do Timmy Taylor's Landlord ? I haven't had a pint of that marvellous brew in many years. I went to the Horniman @ Hays Galleria in May for a pint as I had had many there in the past. They don't do it anymore !!

My last pint of the stuff was in the Coal Hole. They managed to turn this gem into a less than ordinary brew with a hint of vinegar about the taste...but I still had a great night and bought Richard Harris a beer and had a bit of a chat with him (the Limerick connection helped).

PS. For great Timmy's and great beer, The One Eyed Rat in Ripon.

As for Owd Roger. I wouldn't class it as a bad pint, but the effects of this stuff can be quite disturbing. Used to drink a fair bit of this on Saturday night's in Worcester - ahhhh, The Crown. The affects were well-known but didn't stop me and mate drinking pints of the stuff with large tequila's thrown in when back there from University. I remember falling in the canal while being quite ill (how embarassing is that ?)...next memory being at my girlfriends house after she did a heroic job of getting me there being an extremely diminutive lass and me being a dead-weight on rubber legs with zebedee springs for feet. It was years before I had a hangover to approach that one....and the bollocking I received from one so slight and sweet was legendary.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Hazza 
Date:   02-07-03 00:14

SubTel

I learnt about Owd Roger the hard way in the Truscott Arms. It seems to be part of the initiation ceremony that nobody tells you about its' evil effects until afterwards !

Dermot  

Yes they still do the Truscott Ten. They don't make as much fuss about it as they used to, apparently in deference to the local magistrates who believe it encourages heavy drinking ! But if you ask nicely (and quietly), they'll set it up for you.

My candidate for most unpleasant beer is something I had the misfortune to encounter when I lived in South Wales. There was a local-ish brew called All Bright and it was advertised as "a terrific bitter". Only true in the literal sense of "creating or causing terror", it was watery and gassy and without any discernible flavour.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   02-07-03 07:59

Precisely, Owd Roger doesn't taste bad (if you like the look of black mill ponds), it's just the after effects......... "now, I'm sure I brought my legs into the bar...... why can't I feel them"

On the not quite as bad scale was a beer from Gibbs (Bishops something, I think ?)..... good old wobbly leg stuff

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: AlecW 
Date:   02-07-03 08:26

Bishop's Tipple! Lovely stuff, though as you say, falling-over juice as well. No longer made by Gibbs Mew, I think.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Eek_the_Weeble 
Date:   02-07-03 08:26

Sherry

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   02-07-03 08:41

Eek,

Didn't know you knew her ?

Alec,

Yes, that's the stuff (I kept thinking of Bishops Finger, which I think is Shepperd & Neame)

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   02-07-03 09:28

Kealy,

Working for AIB - shouldn't you be supporting Quins along with me

The name of the pub I have is the Rose of Denmark, 28 Cross Street near Barner Bridge. Not sure where I stored the other ones - but I've even saved a map with that one!!!

I shall drag The Professor off to said establishment in the near future and report back my findings.

Whilst you are in the fair city of Dublin, avoid that Temple Bar area. Picture the scene - 12 young innocent fresh-faced members of the university netball team meet a bunch of Irish rugby players in some random bar at 7.30pm. Intent on doing a really good crawl around the area, the naive netballers remain in this bar until stupid o'clock with this rugby team and a mere 7 are capable of standing on the court the next day. Playing was a different matter entirely, I said "able to stand on the court" !!!!!!



Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: BrianC 
Date:   02-07-03 09:43

This is a wonderful thread, brings back so many (un)pleasant memories. I have to say I shuddered when I saw the word 'Skol'.

MrM@d tried to post this on his message, very appropriate I think.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   02-07-03 10:04

I've been watching the re-runs (yet again) of Fawlty Towers and spotted a Red Barrel tap on the bar........ hideous !!... but must be a collectors item now.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   02-07-03 19:30

Viks,

The day you will get me to support Harlequins....will never happen !!

Rose of Denmark..hmmm, is a very boring off-the-beaten track pub. Almost literally off a beaten track. Do not rush to go there. Around the corner on an alley accessible only by foot and bike is a bit of a gem of a pub, but I can't remember its name. Old, small, dark and feels like a pub should feel, ie, old, small and dark.

I need no advice on the perils and highlights of Dublin. I've been coming here since birth ! And on good authority, I was conceived here..though not born here.

Smithwicks got a mention earlier...sadly I quite like that stuff, must have had something to do with living in Kilkenny for a few years.

If you don't like Smithwicks, don't touch Macardles.

Other bad brews to mention, Bud Lite and Coors Lite. Ah but Americans love this stuff, but we know better. Well we do after a taste of this stuff.

Sam Smith's in the Chandos nr. Charing Cross station. This has to be a runner for the worst pint of beer in London. Like the Princess Louise, never ever had a good pint here. Never had a close-to-reasonable pint either actually.

Another memory of vile brews from University days. John Bull Bitter - Romford's finest !! So bad even the student's didn't drink it.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Uncle D 
Date:   02-07-03 22:45

I think my two worst experiences with beer were with two fairly similar bitters.

The first was on the Isle of Wight about 15 years ago. We were staying in a lovely little cottage outside Freshwater. The local pub only had one real ale and I think it was Burt’s. Although there was nothing intrinsically bad about it, apart from its lack of life or flavour, but more the awful effect on the body the next day or three.

The second was when I was at University in Hull. The locally brewed toilet water was Ridings, almost identical to this Burt’s stuff. Now I was under the impression that Yorkshire bitter was the beer to measure all others. Now I know better.

Long live Fullers Brewery.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Hazza 
Date:   03-07-03 01:38

as Eric Idle once said :
"and when you finally get there, the only beer they have is bl**dy Watney's Red Barrel"

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Hazza 
Date:   03-07-03 01:57

Kealy

Walk round the corner from the Chandos onto Bedfordbury, there are at least two proper pubs which serve good beer. One is called the Lemon Tree - a bit poncey downstairs but a quiet bar upstairs with proper beer. I can't remember the name of the other, but the brass players from the Coliseum use it, which is a good sign.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   03-07-03 07:38

Kealy, I'll do my research and find more pubs in London serving Timmy Taylors. Will happily update you with my findings.

UncleD - you've tasted the Yorkshire equivalent of Tescos value lager there, please don't tarr all the other bitters with the same brush. Only reason that particular can was ever allowed in our house was for a beef casserole! Get up into the Dales and find some decent Black sheep or Theakstons, stuff like that. We can do good bitter, I promise. And as I have repeatedly told people, it IS possible to find a decent pint of Tetleys - you just have to really hunt around and also be somewhere near Leeds. I don't think it travels well. The pint or 8 I had in the Skyrack tasted pretty good.........................particularly the 8th

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   03-07-03 08:46

The skyrack! Now there's an interesting pub.... Did you do the Otley run as well? I got a fair way down it, but the pubs at each point of the crossroads is where I started to go downhill......

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Griff 
Date:   03-07-03 09:29

Ah the Otley run, we had an interesting take on this. We'd get off the bus and go into the first pub, can't remember the name strangely, and we'd stay there all day. Saved all that walking. Then we got back on the bus home. People pointed out that we could have sat in one pub in Leeds, but it was a day out. Those were the days...

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Beef 
Date:   03-07-03 09:36

HookRoyal - many a happy night in Belize!!

As for Belikins lager - Aaaaarrrrrgh! Had to be drunk ice cold, as soon as it started to warm up, it was totaly undrinkable.

Staying in Central America, South Mexico to be precise, the local brew there was Dos Ecous (?) (2 X) - it makes Sol seem good!

Could only get American ****e on base - schiltz, coors and one that escapes me - they were all dreadful. Stuck to Bacardi and Cane Juice mostly - funny, can't remember too much from that time in my life.......


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Baz of London Irish 
Date:   03-07-03 09:57

Hurlimann's lager brewed by Shepherd Screame. Allegedly a Swiss lager (same sort of recommendation as Welsh Claret) and brewed in that well known Swiss Canton of Faversham.
Quite a strong concoction of toxic waste that produces mind numbing hangovers. To plagiarise Python, "this is a lager with a message, and the message is beware"

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   03-07-03 11:09

All this great long thread, and no one has mentioned "Old Amsterdam windmill lager". tastes as sharp as Porcupine P*ss but very very strong (I believe it is about 11%)

I was treated to some of this wonderfull brew on a recent cross channel shopping expedition (They sell it by the pallet in Calais to "The Truckers and white van drivers Off Sales Cooperative"), and the first mouthfull was absolutely vile, but soon the muscles of the face became stiff, as if Botoxed, and the tongue went numb. Then in the twenty remaining minutes before the coma set in, it was very pleasant.

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: westand 
Date:   03-07-03 12:11

Even looking at this empty glass brings on the dizzy spells.

Watney's Red Barrel

And anyone who thought that drinking Lager with the name Norseman was a good plan, deserved all they got.

Go on only a quid.

No I'm not the seller, only thought I would bring them to your attention.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   03-07-03 12:19

Not strictly a beer, but 20/20 was pretty feckin awful as well. AG_A may like to enlighten us as to why we used to drink it-I've got no idea!
That brew was probably responsible for....I'll leave it there

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   03-07-03 12:23

Kealy,

Oh dear, I'd forgotten about John Bull bitter Jeez, that stuff was indeed dire or was that diarrhoea !

Westand,

They look to be really popular items...... 10 day auctions (3 days left), low price and NO bids !

Perhaps people are saving themselves for some last minute bidding ??!!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   03-07-03 12:41

Confused - if you ever find out why anyone ever drunk 20/20 please let me know, it may help me recollect some of my teens. I also drank Cider when I was 14 - nasty stuff.

Did anyone else ever drink "blastaways" - pour 1 bottle of diamond white and 1 bottle of castaway into a pint glass and you had just about enough room in the pint glass to fit a treble vodka in there. It's a wonder I ever graduated !!!

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   03-07-03 12:46

Oooooohhhhh. That's a favourite of our man AG_A. Never tried it myself, but was partial to the Diamond Zest you used to get for ú1 on student nights in Bristol. Always in plastic bottles, now there's a classy drink! Or Source, always a winner if stuffed full of beer!

I wasn't too big on 20/20 (drank it anyway though!), I did try it again few years later in a club and remembered why!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: LIjoby 
Date:   03-07-03 12:57

I vaguely remeber drinking 20/20! but i think it was only because they gave it away free at uni! Also used to drik blastaways! (without the treble vodka, mind you!) I'm also amazed i managed to graduate!!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   03-07-03 13:05

Dogbolter was still comfortably the worst thing I drank at uni (in terms of taste). It was towards the end of a suitably messy pub crawl but I doubt it would have made any difference if I drank it in the first pub. Hopefully Firkin breweries have gone out of business now
Alcopops are a nasty invention, but do arrest the inevitable down hill decline to oblivion for a while after a shed load of Ale/AG/fizzy lager.

Joe V's Pimms and cider does take some beating though.....

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: westand 
Date:   03-07-03 13:12

Discovered this beer rating site ratebeer.com

I hopped straight over to Timothy Taylors to see what others thought.

Sigmund in Norway liked it

"Hafrsfjord, Norway
Rated: 4.3 out of 5
Date: Mar 8, 2002
Aroma Appearance Flavor Palate Overall
8/10 5/5 8/10 5/5 17/20


Excellent cask ale! Rule Britannia!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   03-07-03 13:23

Who's going to the beer festival at Olympia this year? I went last year and it was a riot, no sandals/beards in sight either, just pople plasetered on real ale and real stouts

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: AlecW 
Date:   03-07-03 13:54

Kealy I'm with you on the Chandos: I actually quite like Sam Smith's, but the Chandos is one of the worst pubs in the universe.

I remember nipping in there just before closing with my then girlfriend & by the time I got back from the bar (around 1 min), a bloke had walked up to the g/f, sat down next to her, put a vibrator on the table, switched it on and then propositioned her in spectacularly lewd and graphic terms.

Not surprisingly, she failed to see the funny side, and punched him in the face.

This caused a problem.

This guy was MASSIVE, p1ssed and (by the time the g/f's 'reply' had penetrated the miles of neurons between his fat face & what passed for a brain) p1ssed off.

At which point I joined them...

Luckily (for me) his mates (equally massive, but less p1ssed and p1ssing themselves with laughter at the look on the guy's face) pulled us apart, because I was NOT impressed.

Lost brownie points from g/f for taking her into such a dive in the first place, but gained rather a lot more for having sailed into this ball of lard on her (and her honour's) behalf...

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   03-07-03 16:15

I hate all pubs where "food" takes precedence over Drink.

Save boozers for boozers!!!!!!!

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   03-07-03 16:21

oops.... Wrong thread

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   03-07-03 17:48

If I can just drag everyone back to the Faeroe Islands for a moment......
There are two reasons why I haven't been yet. One, it's marginally dearer than space-tourism and two, the beer.

If you're thinking of going there you'll need to write, in advance, to the Landsfˇlkayvirliti­ remembering to include your passport and future address in the Faeroe Islands. Then you must order your beer by 'phone. You will be sent a postal receipt which you will present (with payment) at a F÷roya Bjˇr depot.

Now, guys, wait for THIS;



You will be allowed ( yes, that's right "allowed") to buy a MINIMUM of THIRTY bottles of.......wait for it......2.25% (!) dark beer. Question: how the Donald Duck can mosquito p!ss be "dark"?

Russell O'C




P.S.
It won't surprise you to learn that it's "brewed" ( if that's the right word) by a crowd called Bryggjari Mineralvatnsvirki.

Glossary: vatn--------water
virki---------works

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: NoExpert 
Date:   05-07-03 01:29

Typical LI thread - you've managed to invert Kealy's original topic in a couple of postings! So in the same vein........

Viks, I fear for you in this mission.

I happily quaffed numerous pints of TT in the Ferrands in Bingley but whenever I came across it in London, usually as a guest beer, it came across as a complete imposter. Unfortunately in my experience TT Landlord does not travel well away from Keighley although drinking it mainly in Wetherspoon pubs down saaaaaarf certainly does not help.

Good luck – if you find a decent pint, I’ll certainly volunteer to prop up the bar. An ace brew.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   05-07-03 08:29

A comment which I missed earlier in the tread,

From Viks, remarking that Bitter should have a head on it.

If my dear old dad, God rest his soul, (Who has already appeared in this thread), was ever served a pint of bitter with a head on it, he would always politely ask the barman if he could fit a whiskey in it. When he got the usual Positive answer. He would say.
"Well fill the fecking thing with beer then, I paid for a pint of bitter not an ice cream"

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: The Pub Landlord 
Date:   05-07-03 10:50

If I may be as bold as to add a couple of Beers still doing the rounds in rural Hertfordshire by our very own Brewer McMullens of Hertford

AK Bitter - It's a mild, Jim.. But not as we know it...

Hartsman Lager - English Regional Lager and it is truly awful...

Interesting to hear the comments of RFB and Viks on the Pint issue. The industry guideline is 95% Liquid and 5% Froth. Northern folk do tend to like a bit more froth. Whilst Southerners tend to like a 'flat (full) pint'

The beer does actually taste better if you can keep a head on it all the way down the glass.

Good to see not too much critisism of Real Ale... My only rant is over the CAMRA types who come in and have a half and sit talking about it all night!!!! All sandals, waistcoats and beards.... And the fellahs are no better!!!!!

TPL

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   05-07-03 11:33


The Hogshead in Newbury does an excellent pint of TT's (I used to do the cellar when I worked there). It doesn't last long though, even 18 gallon barrels!

TPL- when I went ot the CAMRA beer festival at Olympia last year, I was truly amazed at the lack of beards and sandals. Maybe it was the massive quantities I consumed distorting my vision though they also had an amazing line in real cider.Some real ditchwater from the west country, I think even JoeV would struggle to drink it, but by god was it strong

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   05-07-03 11:42

Come along to the Real ale and Jazz festival in Reading.

Sandals and beards in abundance, but also loads of totty, and general debauchery, so on balance. A damn good night out.

I think that last year they had about 40 different ales, plus some rotten apple drink.

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   05-07-03 12:15

RFB,

When is it ?

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   05-07-03 14:36

Sounds good. When is it? Do tell.......

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   05-07-03 18:52

Farnham BeerEx is a good one too. It always seems to coincide with rugby these days though. Around 10th April normally.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: colin_m 
Date:   05-07-03 23:28

Viks,

TT Landlord can be had at The Fox in Hanwell and sometimes (although gravity fed) at The Duke in Chiswick.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: LIjoby 
Date:   07-07-03 09:02

i think the real ale and jazz is the weekend after next (approx the 18th-ish July!)

we went to the Reading CAMRA one and there was a distinct lack of beardas and sandels! (although it was the day of the leicester match we went and we kept seeing Leicester rugby shirts, well unitl the final whistle and then they stangely all disappeared!!)

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   07-07-03 09:18

Loobs,

I went to the 1st one of those in 1977....... and went to the 25th aniversary last year !!! Definitely a good one

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   07-07-03 09:23

We were talking about this thread in the Sandhurst Branch pub on Saturday night, and one that I don't think has been mentioned is.....

Whitbread Tankard !! Yuk !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Glasses 
Date:   07-07-03 10:55

Details of the Reading Real Ale & Jazz festival can be found at:-

http://www.rchc.org.uk

It's well worth a visit if you like Real Ale. I shall be going, if anybody else wants to come along, we'll get together and form a "green section" in the main tent!!! The friday night is best, but be warned...don't arrive too late or you won't get a seat at the communal trestle tables.....



Blast..I can never get the links to work.

Modified 07/07/03 09:56:08

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   07-07-03 11:18

Steve,

Now sorted out

For URLs like that, just put a < at the front and close it with a > at the end, saves messing about with the [url=http:// tag at times.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Glasses 
Date:   07-07-03 11:21

Ta...that looks a lot better now.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   07-07-03 12:52

Can't say I ever had Tankard.

There was of course Whitbread Trophy Bitter. You remember..

Whitbread...BIG HEAD !!
Trophy Bitter.
The pint that hinks its a quart.
It's got the body, the body to satisfy.
It can't be beat.
No matter how you try......

I vaguely remember having a pint once as a youngster. I can't remember the taste, but as I only had one pint, itmust have been crap.

Worthington 'E' was another, but I don'tthink it was too bad, so shouldn't really be mentioned here.

I think it is a travesty that TTL and Killian's/Schlitz/John Bull get mentioned in the same thread !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Gingernut1 
Date:   07-07-03 14:08

I like this thread

Definite worst pint ever was a pint of AG recently in the Old Ship in Richmond Surrey No life in it and a quarter-inch head of rusty-coloured froth. Complaint to "Manager" (all beard & beer-gut) brought the surly response "Well if you people drink pasteurised beer!!" I reckon his barrel was as old and decrepit as his pub.

Great site. You people certainly know how to enjoy a bit of craic.

Ginge

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: jaykayu_LI 
Date:   07-07-03 14:23

CID

re Real Cider.

My brother in law once took me to one of the last Somerset cider houses, which was somewhere near Radstock.

This place was more like a house than a pub, no bar with settles around the one large room.

The landlord came up to me and asked my what cider I would like (its all they sold) and on prompting from by brother in law I asked for a pint of 'the medium'. 'Yes sir, a pint of medium & lemonade' said the landlord, 'No!' I replied ' I don't want any lemonade in it'

'Oh no sir' said the landlord, 'not even my regulars can drink it neat'.

He was absolutely right too!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   07-07-03 14:34

Kealy,

Yes, Trophy was also cr@p....... another "keg fizz"

Worthington 'E' south of Watford wasn't much better, but served on electric pumps in Yorkshire clubs and pubs it didn't taste too bad....... good session beer !

Hmmm, if served badly, then AG can be shoite...... especially if you get the first pint out in the morning and the landlord hasn't bothered to draw any off first

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   07-07-03 14:35

Whatever the muck I got served at Lord's yesterday is possibly worthy of a mention on this site.

Maybe we need to start a new thread on this or poss Eds could use a poll when they are bored one week - how much head do you want on your bitter? TPL - 5% froth sounds about right to me. If I think that a pint is requiring a flake in it, I generally tell them! However I'm so sick of being served something flat with no head on whatsoever.

Massive thankyou to ColinM, I shall be continuing my search for a decent pint of ale down here, encompassing the pubs you've mentioned.

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   07-07-03 14:53

Gingernut1 - welcome along. You'll get used to the madness.....

Jaykayu- I had a similar experience in the Coronation Tap in Bristol. Lot of harsh ciders in there. Exhibition at a cheeky 14% was the Uni rugby club favourite, only sold by the half. Funnily enough, lots of the lads made one of themselves later, esp if they tried to down it in one......

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   07-07-03 14:59

Viks,

"Do you get a flake with that ?"........ after one of the LI games, we went back to The Swan (as you do !), and one of my mates said that to Vic.

Of course, Vic being the usual subtle Yorkshireman, promptly found a flake and dumped it in the guys beer and handed it to him !! A classic

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: CiaranB 
Date:   07-07-03 15:00

I seem to remember when Guinness first introduced Draught Guinness in a bottle, they supplied you with a syringe and instructions how to get the perfect glass of AG. It was a real hit or miss operation.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Glasses 
Date:   07-07-03 15:04

Viks...if you like a head on your bitter...ask your friendly barperson to put a sparkler on the nozzle of the beer dispenser...this compresses the beer when dispensing and will guarantee a good head...if it's still flat after that..the beer is officially declared......deceased.....and should be avoided at all costs!

However, please note, that well kept cask ale will always produce a head, the amount of which can be determined by rate of pour.

The only exception to the above is when the beer is dispensed by tap, straight from the barrell.....in this case getting the correct head can be a bit tricky and should only be attempted if you have a beard and are wearing sandals.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   07-07-03 16:39

I remember the syringe thingy, prior to the widget in cans. The secret with all of the draught AG is to keep it cold, the syringe worked a treat once the beer was cold.

If it isn't kept cold... well, you did want a brown ceiling, didn't you??

Worst beer I've ever had the misfortune to consume was called Obolon in Kiev. Vicious stuff, 2 bottles and your head was liable to fall off and if it didn't you wished it had. The really sad thing was that it was as weak as ditch water.

Of course, none of us was adventurous enough to try Kvas another local brew, served in these tanks



No way, Jose.

Modified 07/07/03 15:40:24

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Sore Doc 
Date:   07-07-03 17:58

SubTel,

Whitbread Tankard eh? Oh! how well we remember that old spoonerism!



BTW This weekend, at Woodcote on the Dorchester/Oxford [A4024?] road out of Caversham, The annual Woodcote Steam Rally with a magnificent CAMRA beer tent. Superb ales, and some lagers; ideally kept and beatifully served. Well worth a visit and if you can't make Saturday [when I'll be there] or Sunday then try this Friday evening when the beer tent will be inaugurated. Might see you there?

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   07-07-03 18:07

Subtel, I must come to the Swan next time I'm at the Madstad and meet said Yorkshireman! Bet he serves a decent pint! The story you recounted doesn't surprise me, us Yorkshire folk are reknown for calling a spade a ******* shovel !!!

Reading_Glasses - not having a head on a pint is bad enough, but putting sparklers in it perish the thought

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   07-07-03 19:43

...Sore Doc, me and she are off to Henley for our annual July "View the Thames in the Rain" holiday on Friday - well, it has chucked it down every year for the last three!

If I could cadge a pass away from the Pimms and Champers (well, for the afternoon anyway!) I'd love to meet up on the Saturday, purely for research purposes of course! Woodcote available by bus ex-Henley?


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   07-07-03 20:54

Loobs,

I still possess a bottle of "Draught Guinness". It must be 14 years past its sell by date and the syringe is long gone.

One day I shall drink this brew...and maybe, just maybe it will be up there with Killian's

As this thread seems to have picked up on cider, there is/was a cider bar in Pimlico somewhere. More a winebar that serves a range of ciders.

I turned up there a few years ago with a couple of mates. One was trying to impress a young colleen he had met at work so was on some poncey spritzer stuff. My other reprobate mate and myself opted for a cider.

On deciding the cider...can't remember, but it was about 9.5% and absolutely superb...I asked for two pints of it.

"Oh no sir", came the snide response, "only half pints or in two pint jugs".

"Why no pints ?", asks I.

"We don't want riff raff in here".

He then proceeded to look absolutely horrified as I ordered two two-pint jugs, one for me, one for mate. He honestly didn't see that one coming.

I left that place in a very merry, happy haze indeed.

But my greatest memory of cider houses is The Ram in Farncombe. I believe it is now long gone, but a Surrey Uni Sunday institution for years. Hand Grenades.....deadly indeed.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   08-07-03 00:18

The Ram !! oh dear, the extermination of brain cells !! There was another one over that way........ may have been called The Cyder House (Godalming or Milford ?)

Jeez, you must nearly be as old as me !

PS: There was another good pub between Farncombe and Godalming called the Leathern Bottle (I think !!)

So, anyone go to the Coach & Horses in Castle Street, Farnham in mid/late 1970s ?

Modified 07/07/03 23:31:20

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   08-07-03 00:26

Viks,

Said Yorkshireman is indeed a fine Innkeeper, and calls an Irish Wolfhound, Jumbo !! You will enjoy the banter !

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   08-07-03 08:48

Talking of Cider Bars, there's a good one in Newton Abbott which we visited while touring down that way with Newbury a few years ago. Some truly wierd apple juice and some nice Pear stuff as well. It was a difficult day

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Sore Doc 
Date:   08-07-03 10:49

You&mrs.m@d

I would be more than happy to give you a guide of the CAMRA tent, and, indeed, the entire rally. It’s a terrific event.

Now the bad news. Buses, Henley-Woodcote about as common as dodo shoite. From memory, there is one bus each way PER WEEK! And that’s on market day.

However, if you do contrive to get there, my bat-fone number is 0789 992 8975. This goes for anybody else too.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   08-07-03 11:09

Subtel,

I've only been in the Swan once and this was before your game against Northampton. I was more concerned with hiding my quins shirt than the beer. However, I met Murph and James_LI among others and they were most welcoming, despite me being a Quin! Now that I know I'm assured a good welcome on a match day, I'll be down there before our game and will seek out the Yorkshireman in my quest for a pint with a head on it.

Only 1 condition of me turning up for the pre-match craic there, please don't introduce me to Jumbo, I'm allergic to horses

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   08-07-03 18:11

There's a 'So is Jumbo' so wanting to come out there

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: HookRoyal 
Date:   08-07-03 22:57

Back to the cider, the foulest pint of "cider " I have ever drunk was in New York, it was the middle of winter and I was bitterly cold, I saw a sign advertising "Hot Apple Cider" thinking it was akin to Mulled Wine I oredered some to warm the cockles.

Bleaugh, hot sweetend apple juice with lashings of cinamon and preservatives, never had been , and never could, be fermented.
Should have seen it coming, they frown upon public drinking over there.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   08-07-03 23:16

Viks,

Seeing as I'm half Yorkshireman (the half with the wallet !!), I'll try and get in The Swan that day and introduce you to said Innkeeper.

May need to be early'ish as "a horse named Jumbo" goes to mark out his territory on the MadStad pitch !

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   08-07-03 23:43

Also metioned down the pub tonight was Truman Ale...... I vaguely remember this as being a transparent tasteless brew

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   09-07-03 07:49

Subtel - only half Yorkshire...............................you can get the first round in then

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   09-07-03 07:56

I did say it was the half with the (thrifty) wallet !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   09-07-03 09:39

Great thread.

Watneys red Barrel is still served in American bars and is considered a trendy thing to drink. When I berate my American mates about this they say, "Yeah, well your pubs serve Budweiser for Chrissake".

Heard a discussion programme on radio 4 at the time when non-alcoholic beers were popular (let's not go down that path). One panelist said it was a great pity we didn't have non-alcoholic beer in the sixties. "Yes, we did," said another, "We had watneys Red Barrel."

For me there is no contest as to the worst of all beers. An Indian brew by the enticing name of Rosy Pelican. Tastes like Tizer that's been passed through an incontinent cat.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   09-07-03 09:51

Chris,

Be interested to find our who brews it ?....... unless we shipped all our old stock over to the colonials at the end of the 70s and they are still using it ! Sell by date ?? I thought it had a "don't drink to start with" date !

I take it you have tried the experiment with Tizer and an incontinent cat ?

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: coochie 
Date:   09-07-03 10:25

Without doubt Tetleys abuses the right to be called a beer, hidious stuff straight from the bowels of hell, and they now do an "extra cold"

Biggest waste of time since i thought i was good in bed only to have the wife diagnosed with asthma.

Had a night out last night and had a few "Hoegarden" a white beer, very nice very expensive and judging by my hangover very strong.

Viks i can confirm TT is a fabulous pint They not only do The fantastic landlord but also a winter brew which for the life of me can't remember but is a complete winner.

No expert The Ferrands in Bingley is a a great pub, i lived in Bingley for many years and it was by far the best pub around,

There is a pub somewhere near stoke i think out in the sticks called the Rising sun, he brews his own Beer and has a range of four i think starting with the "Sunrise" and going up to the "Total eclipse" which was so strong it was only served in halves.

Another Pub oooppp here in the north which is legend in Bradistan is the Fighting cock many many great beers on sale including 2 ciders which were evil, Thatchers falling down cider and Monks delight....complete with bits of apple and spices still in it.

Good thread

Cheers
Coochie

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Viks 
Date:   09-07-03 11:14

Ooh Coochie - the Fighting Cock, I haven't been there in years. Top pub and fantastic ales.

For anyone who has never been acquainted with Bradford (lucky you) there was a sister pub which was situated in the area known as Idle..........................................the pub was appropriately named "The Idle Cock"

Viks

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   09-07-03 11:19

Subtel,

Not sure who brews it but the bottle I drank was brewed in India.
I moved onto the incontinent cat tizer in preference. Another brew they do out there is Kingfisher which is better but, were it not for Rosy Pelican, might have got my vote.

Somebody mentioned Trumans. Worked in a London pub when I was a student. The contents of the drip trays of all the bitters were collected during the evening in a bucket (with some ice to keep it fresh) and filtered back into the Truimans barrel at the end of the night. It was never noticed by Truman drinkers. Lovely stuff.

My favourite beer comment was contained in an article in the Evening Standard: "Lager is the only substance known to man to leave the human body in exactly the same condition that it entered."

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Grins 
Date:   09-07-03 12:30

Having looked down, I didn't notice any votes for Special Brew which is diabolical.

Other ones I have had bad times with include: Tartan Special; Goddards Winter Warmer; Halida Beer (Vietnamese, and likely to stay that way!)

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: coochie 
Date:   09-07-03 12:45

Viks

The Fighting Cock is still a great pub sadly lost a lot of it's charm when some health and safety types decided it couldn't have sawdust on the floor and the toilets had to be indoors.

There was also a brewery in bradford called "Trough brewerys" and boasted pubs such as The blue boar and The Red pig not bad beer at all still don't know wether it's available.

Another is Eastwood beers, it is brewed by the father of a family freind and is cracking beer which has won many awards worth a try if it makes it's way down there

Coochie

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   09-07-03 13:01

Does anyone remember the ghastly expensive experiment and cockup that was Guinness Light ?

I don't think it had the opportunity to be unleashed on the masses in UK, but it certainly did a "Crash'n'burn" over here. Late 70's/early 80's.

It was bad.


As a subsection of this string, howabout the worsdt pints of AG ?

Mine, without a doubt, has been in Boston. In my local bar in Charlestown, rssplendent in all its Irish paraphernalia (actually I like the place and the owners). The Guinness was akin to someone mopping up spilled diesel and wringing the cloth into a glass. It was dire.

Finally outdid the pint I had in The Royal Oak in New Malden circa 1986, which had no head and light actually passed through it.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   09-07-03 13:56

Kealy, Guinness Light!! What was all that about?? Even as a spotty desparate apprentice alkie would I venture that stuff!

Wasn't that what they changed the large bottles brew into?

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   09-07-03 17:25

...call me m@d, but then you do anyway....

...with advance appologies - but blame ChrisW for putting the idea in my head - but I recently had a bottle of alcohol free Becks, and it wasn't bad! (Sorry).

What about AG's bottled Extra Cold, or was it Draught in a bottle? Apparently it was designed so you could groove and swig as you bopped around your handbag? I think it might be still be about, lord knows what it tasted like.


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   09-07-03 17:37

I must really be some kind of closet pervert because I just can't wait to try some of this scheit yous have all been talking about.
ChrisW mentions non-alcoholics and adds "let's not go down THAT path!"
But seriously, though, can anyone tell me what in all the seven hundred halls of Hell persuaded a brewery with a pedigree like that of Guinness to become involved with Kaliber?
I used to occasionally be offered the stuff and I used to suffer the weirdest side-effect. Three or four glasses would guarantee me a horrendous night-mare and, here's the odd thing, dinosaurs were ALWAYS in the cast. Long before "Jurassic Park" I WAS that hapless time-traveller.
Actually I think I'll put this to the test again this weekend...keep yous posted.
SlÓn libh go foill,
Russell

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   09-07-03 18:19

Kaliber was akin to the God-given Ambrosia compared to the wonders of Hemmeling and the worst of all non-alcohol beers, Barbican.

But if you want to drink that stuff, you get what you deserve. A good mate of mine used to drink Kaliber when he was the designated driver...and would suffer terrible hangovers the next day.

The Draught Guinness in a bottle is actually OK. Drinkable stuff.

Bulmers (Magners to you chaps) over here are now doing a Bulmers Lite. I shall be purchasing some to bring over to Twickenham tomorrow - for I shall be in Twickersland for a few days - and shall report on it once a bottle has been chilled and opened.

Note:
Does this mean a Bulmers Lite and a Miller Lite constitute a Snakebite Lite ?

Modified 09/07/03 17:19:55

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   09-07-03 23:04

Kaliber and the dreaded Barbican seemed to have more chemicals which gave you the bad bits whilst not enjoying the 'good' bits.

I like the snakebite lite

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   09-07-03 23:44

.....and the winner, of the

LISC Summer '03, "Search for a Thread of Note" is - ......

...sorry, looking for an excuse to show off my new smiley - well, no better thread!





Modified 09/07/03 22:44:54

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   10-07-03 00:30

m@d,

..... similar smiley......



and another good one.....

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   10-07-03 00:53

...what can I say?




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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   10-07-03 00:55

...you scratch my back....


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: The Pub Landlord 
Date:   10-07-03 10:26

With reference to Chris W's posting - It was common practise in a lot of pubs to take the dregs from the drip trays and put them in a barrel - It used to be served as 'Special Mild' or something like that. In fact, not so many years ago I was in a pub in Scotland and the drip trays had been replaced with a metal gully that looked like a urinal trough. the waste beer went along the trough and dropped back into the cellar - YUK!

TPL Gardening tip - The waste ale i have goes onto my jasmine and honeysuckle - it has really help their growth! - TRUE!

I did try it with waste Kronenbourg but the Jasmine plants kept offering the honeysuckle out for spilling his girlfriends pint!!!!

TPL

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: m@d 
Date:   10-07-03 11:02

....."waste ale" - isn't that a criminal offence?


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: BrianC 
Date:   10-07-03 12:10

I still shudder when I read some of the names in this thread.

Barbican - Does anyone remember the awful TV ad that went with it, Laurie McMenemey saying 'It's great!'.

Egyptian beer is well worth avoiding, especially the stuff they call Stella. No relation whatsoever to the French beer of the same name.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   10-07-03 12:23

Brian,

Bisach would be able to say that better

Kealy mentioned one I'd forgotten.....

"wouldn't you rather be Hemmeling ?" I think was the slogan !! Maybe Hemmeling was another word for "throwing up"

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: JoeV 
Date:   10-07-03 12:29

Pompey Royal

six pints, throw up, six pints, throw up - thus went the perfect college Friday night out

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   10-07-03 12:43

Wasted many an evening in Cairo on Stella. There were two types Stella Export and just plain Stella. I thought one of them was pretty good. But then I saw where they brew it. Like a post nuclear scene.

Just to invert things a great beer is Anstey Ale brewed in the village of Anstey in Dorset. There was a great pub there called The Fox which was deservedly Egon Ronays first pub of the year. I hear it's gone downhill since. Anyway, some friends advised me that if you could drink 5 pints of Anstey you could drink free for the rest of the evening. They advised me because I used to be good at that (this was years ago). Well, years later I spent a weekend there with my wife and some friends. We were told that, yes, there had been such a challenge but, no, they didn't do it any more since two people had to be taken away in an ambulance. We raised the first pint and - talk about thick: you had to shake the glass hard to make the bloody thing move. On the first sip you could taste the earth it had come from and you knew your head was going to be bad. I stopped at four pints and drank something more sensible like double bushmills.
Anyone else tried it?

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Patrickr 
Date:   10-07-03 17:02


Horrible, industrial American & Mexican beers like Bud, Miller, Corona, Sol etc brewed with cheaper rice (and other sugary by-products described as "Adjunct Grains") and go very easy on the Malt and hops.

I had to give up drinking beer on holiday in Mexico (All inclusive too!) because I couldn't get another drop down after about 2 days! It might be a matter of taste, but these beers don't have the hoppy, bitter bite that you get from a good pilsner or a perfect AG.

So at least there was the tequila instead....

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: large 
Date:   10-07-03 21:08

Theakston's Old Peculier - comes up quicker than it goes down with me.

Also a black Belgian brew I made the mistake of odering over in Brussels last week. I'm still having black beer flashbacks as I type. Shame I was too pished to remember the name, so next time I'm over there I will doubtless drink it again.


Worst alcohol in the ZP is the stuff that masquerades as cider at Bath Rugby Club. I've tasted more palatable toilet cleaner.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   11-07-03 00:37

Large,

Old Perculiar is not too bad...... especially if you've had a skin full of Owd Roger first....... come to think of it, it's a wonder I'm still alive after my youth.... perhaps I should have just stuck to drinking formaldehyde !!

Belgium....... not a brew called Kwok (I think ?), served in mini yard of ale glasses ? They should use it to clean their drains over there !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Patrickr 
Date:   11-07-03 09:07

Large - you can't complain too much about the Dry Blackthorn at Bath - as they're sponsors, it was only 1.20 a pint in the clubhouse when I was there last season! I also thought it was a refreshing change to the usual pint or two of "rugby heavy", and it actually contributed to me having a bit of a cider renaissance which I'm still enjoying!

Worst rugby beer for me was an expensive can of warm Heineken pured into a plastic glass from the "bar" (an old trestle table) under the stand at Loftus Road when Wasps were playing there. It's got a little better at Adams Park - you can get plastic bottles of Carlsberg now. Can football and Rugby ever truly mix when there is such differing attitudes to alcohol? I guess we should count ourselves lucky we get anything at all really...

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: CiaranB 
Date:   11-07-03 12:19

White Shield Worthington has a layer of sediment in it and has to be poured very carefully so as to avoid the nasty stuff. Another unpleasant but very strong drink is a half of ESB mixed with a bottle of Golden Pride...enjoy

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: large 
Date:   11-07-03 12:28

Kwack, Subtel. Had one of those (my last of the evening - just after that awful black stuff) last week too. I quite like it.

As far as ú1.20 Blackthorn goes, Patrick, I'd rather drink the Harpic and save ten bob

Dunno what it is with Old Peculier. I though I would have loved the stuff, but the body certainly was in "abort" mode when I tried it. The phrase "I just can't stomach it" certainly applies. Owd Roger, however, is fine.

The main problem we all have, of course, is the emergence of the pre-mixed drinks (aka alcopops) market. Even chemically-brewed lagers are feeling the pinch.

Heaven forbid the day when all we'll have left as consumers is Microsoft, Coca-Cola, McDonald's, Big Brother, Association football and Smirnoff ice!

12.30! Time for my weekly Perrier.....

Modified 11/07/03 11:32:49

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   11-07-03 12:44

From the dark recesses of my mind (very dark indeed) yet another vile brew puts its head abovet he parapets to be shot down.

Bottled stuff called EKU 28. This stuff is sheer rocket fuel, but tastes absolutely vile. First tried in Bath University Union on a rugby trip. I was unfortunate enough to spot this stuff in a bar in Boston last year. It's taste has not improved over the years, it is vile. But must be treated with due respect due to the strength. I was informed I had four of these to round of the evening. I cannot possibly comment as I don't remember.

The other half was suitably unimpressed.

Horrible stuff.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: colin_m 
Date:   11-07-03 13:05

Ahh Ciaran, you're bringing back some rough memories from my earlier drinking career. After the Welsh/Irish cup game at Old Deer Park, 6 of the aforementioned followed half a dozen Winter Warmers. Needless to say, I was 'assisted' home...

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: S1B 
Date:   11-07-03 14:36

How to make the worst beer ever:

Move to Saudi Arabia.
Get two cases of Kaliber, 5 gallon water container half full of drinking water, 2kg sugar, yeast, 1m length of bendy plastic pipe, tinned malt* (optional).

Fashion lid of container and 8" piece of the pipe into an airlock.

Boil sugar in water until sugar is dissolved.
Pour some of the sugar solution into off into smallish non-meltable contaner. Add a couple of teaspoons of yeast and malt, shake vigourously.

Pour all the Kaliber into the water container.
Add the sugar and sugar/yeast(malt) solutions.
Put on the airlock.

1 week later repeat all of the above.

1 week later repeat again.

1 week later repeat above and bottle the first batch (using the rest of the plastic pipe to siphon it).
Wait two days and start drinking the bottles that haven't exploded.
Distribute some to the kind folk who have let you share theirs for the past three weeks. Continue to repeat all of the above.

Tip 1: add some seven-up to make it marginally more drinkable.
Tip 2: don't let the arabs know what you have created
Tip 3: to make money, make loads more and flog it to the Filipinos
Tip 4: don't let the arabs have any
Tip 5: For equally disgusting wine, substitute grape juice for Kaliber. (When I was there it was sold in Grolsh-like bottles, very handy!)
Tip 6: Whilst Kaliber is the worst to drink "neat", it was the best for this.
Tip 7: don't go to Saudi.

*One fine day a ship load of malt arrived in Jeddah. Some smartarse arab realised there could only be one possible use of the cargo and ordered it to be destroyed. The method employed for this was to dump it in the desert. One even finer day it was discovered by the Hash House Harriers...

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Barney Burnham 
Date:   11-07-03 14:49

Reading this wonderful thread has brought back many horrendous memories.

My nominations:

Anything from Anheuser Busch.


An Aussie abomination called Red Centre, which I once drank at Alice Springs Airport. Utterly vile. So vile, in fact, that it made Fosters seem good.

Then there was Watneys Starlight. the only way we could get rid of it in the college bar was to use it in shandies - until people got wise. Then we tried leaving bowls of it out for a stray dog who used to come to the back door. After a couple of days, the poor mutt disappeared and never returned.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Alan_K 
Date:   11-07-03 15:04

A rice beer called 333 only found (I believe) in Vietnam ...... tates like p*ss and gives a stinking hangover.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   11-07-03 15:10

Barney,

Think I mentioned Watneys Starlight in a much earlier thread.......... however........ if you poured lemonade into it for making shandies then surely you must have at least doubled its strength !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: JoeV 
Date:   14-07-03 10:44

Spingo Ale - as served in The Blue Anchor in Helston - three strengths - Old Man was a thing of sheer terror - two pints and the women in The Lady Street nightclub across the road looked 'andsome

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Green, white and Gary Gold 
Date:   14-07-03 11:01

joe V

Great minds, i was thinking of spingos for this thread. We used to visit there every easter on our annual rugby tour. Easter ale was lethal. Conveniently there is a little 'stream' between the main entrance in case the old porcelain telephone is in use.

One year we all got spingo'd and we were on the minibus back to st ives via the lanes in cornwall. The beach boys were blaring on the stereo and the back doors were open with people taking it in turn to 'surf' on the tailboard when the old bill appeared behind us , sirens blaring etc.

We pulled over and even though we were spingo'd we realised we were in big trouble. The police man walked up and looked the minibus up and down and in his broadest cornish accent said 'You're St Mary's aren't you?' The driver confirmed this. The copper said ' You make sure you give St Ives a right pasting tomorrow' and as he was walking off 'and no more sillyb*gger behaviour on the minibus!'

The blue anchor also did great pasties - you needed at least 2 down before you let any of that beer near your stomach.


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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: JoeV 
Date:   15-07-03 12:58

Strange that - went on a stag to Helston - one of my mates Harry who played for London Cornish was from there. We had nine up in a little boat across the estuary for a few pints and a T-Bone steak and then got terribly spingo'd at the Anchor - we had a similar van incident and the policeman stopped us due to the uncertainty of which side of the road we were on. Everyone in the back was trying to be quiet until we realised the copper was actually a mate of ours who told us to take it slowly or we might get in trouble with the police before he hopped into his squad car and left.

I think we were in Helston with Mary's once.

PS - 'Owzat is one to add to the list of peculiar ales with desperate effects it's a Wychwood Brewery production - ouch !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   15-07-03 15:22

Nobody has mentioned John Smiths yet. Like something left over from washing up.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: A-J 
Date:   15-07-03 16:33

the worst beer has to be, the empty bottle kind,

go to ebay, and key in ebay crazy, Jonny C, has put one up for auction
Mad men in the hot summer sun no doubt,




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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: HookRoyal 
Date:   15-07-03 22:51

If you are in saudi you can make "Keg" cider or beer without raising suspicion by storing it in a in a water gas fire extinguisher, beer and a massive soda syphon all in one.


If you like a good head you could always keep it in a foam extinguisher

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   15-07-03 23:17

Like a good head ????? but what about the beer ????

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: JoeV 
Date:   18-07-03 12:36

Bad beer .....










..... bad head

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: AG Assassin... 
Date:   18-07-03 12:51

Guinness launched "Guinness Light" in Ireland in the early eighties, a truly inspired decision. It was supposed to make Guinness more appealing to the ladies. It was pulled off the market after about six months, cost them a fortune. Why they trialed it in Ireland only I'll never know.


Ran a pub on Milton Keynes many years back, sold Inde Coope (went on to become Carlsberg Tetley) products XXXX, Skol, John Bull which remain large in my memory. Testing the beer after line cleaning was torture, so ended up recruiting the dog. If it didn't keel over dead, it was good enough for the punters........


Another quality beers than remain ingrained in my consciousness is the delectable K2 lager served up in Fullers pubs in the late eighties early ninties. Others for honourable mentions include Millar Lite, Hoffmeister, Harp.....

I'm a big fan of AG, and sad to say that my worst Guinness ever experience was in the Milton Keynes Irish Centre. Took then night off from running the pub and another paddy and myself stepped over to the Irish Centre. There was a band on and the place was rammed. Made the novice error of not having a quick look around to see if anyone else was on the AG. Ordered a brace of Ag from mein host, which were served up in double quick time (should have been a fore-warner). Took one gulp of the brew and nearly threw up onto the lady sat in front of me...

Still scarred from the exprience some thirteen years later....

Modified 18/07/03 11:56:49

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   18-07-03 12:59

Hofmeister. Cheesy 80's adverts!!!Nasty beer which they often still try and flog in Mini marts in the student ends of town.
I think XXXX over here is a lot better than it used to be-seems to have had a bit of a relaunch recently. A strange brew as it's not XXXX Gold (quite nice)and not XXXX bitter(not very nice, not very bitter either) which are the 2 main Oz brews.......Mind you, one could drink XXXX Gold until the cows come home and still be standing, esp as they tend to serve it in tiny glasses

Thank god most pubs have got rid of that piss weak Heineken shoite that masqueraded as a lager.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: clonmel 
Date:   18-07-03 15:58


Some experiences are so horrible, that your mind can completely blank them out, and it is only after a group therapy experience such as this that they slowly emerge from the mists of time to plague you once again. I'm pretty sure that I suffered the following traumas but I may be hallucinating due to a lack of rugby and a surfeit of self-abuse...............


Long Life - the " beer " not the milk - although the milk was undoubtedly stronger and had a better flavour.............

and even more life scarring

Concorde English Wine - words can not do it justice - suffice to say you were never without a bottle of Concorde because every social gathering you went to it was there having been passed from party to party over a period of months and years - once drunk never ever forgotten....................

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   18-07-03 18:02

Hey, you're right, Clonmel. This thread's bringing them all back. Lynne and I used to do that with bottles of Concorde that we'd been given, but usually as an afterthought with something better just so that anyone at the party didn't think that we REALLY drank Concorde!
Can you remember going out to pubs for "Chicken in a Basket"? Can you imagine what a food inspector would have to say about that one?
slÓn leat go foill,
Russell O'C

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   20-07-03 16:22

I was at a Barbie last night; obviously nothing like the temperatures that yous hunter-gatherers down in the savannah-lands of Berkshire are used to, but us guys around here take straightaway to the outdoor life once the rain's stopped. However, I digress....... I was given two, that's right, TWO bottles of some BADGER ale ( and I usually sing the praises of Badger Ales throughout these Northern Marches) that had... PEACH BLOSSOM in it! YES, that's right, PEACH BLOSSOM. In BADGER ALES ! ! !
Well, not to mess about, I drank both to round off a night of wine and canned Guinness. That after an afternoon of working on a roof with nothing on my bald head. Was I Hackney Wick? Was I?
SlÓn libh go foill,
Russell

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   20-07-03 16:27

Been away and missed a lot of this thread, but back nowand

JOE V. shame on you.

Pompey royal is surely the nectar of the gods. I was virtually weaned on the stuff and I will not hear a bad word said against it

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Mutts 1 
Date:   21-07-03 05:21

Four X Gold, it's like nats p***

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: AG Assassin... 
Date:   21-07-03 12:32

Speaking of nats piss - brings to mind Steinlager NZ Lager.

Truly bleeding awful....

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   21-07-03 12:36

Another couple of vile brews that have floated to the surface like.....well not cream for a start...

A Swiss brew that went by the name of Cardinal. vile, put quite possibly the gassiest of gassiest beers I've ever had. A struggle to boatrace with. Truly horrible - not quite in the higher echelons of this bad beer guide, but worthy of a mention.

There was another swiss brew that went by the name of Special Hell. It certainly was !!

Unfortunately it became one of the punishment drinks during a Seven's tournament. It was vile.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   21-07-03 12:39

I think the god awful Snakebite concoction that myself, AG_A, David and another poor unfortunate were drinking in the 'Redback' on Sat night deserves an honourable mention. I can't get it out of my new trainers and my LI shirt was lucky to escape with a few minor stains after 3 washes.......
Why do I do it to myself????? I still feel terrible now

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 Because...

Author: colin_m 
Date:   21-07-03 12:56

...of the vast array of 'friendly' antipodean women in aforesaid establishment. Go on, admit it!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: confusedidentity 
Date:   21-07-03 13:07

Well, one of them did ask for my shirt! It was cold though, and I'm a practically-married man! She may have just wanted to buy her own.

I think the vast majority of them were, sadly to say, unimpressed by the lack of sobriety myself, David and AG_A were displaying.........Lack of the power of speech may have put some off too

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Barney Burnham 
Date:   22-07-03 19:42

I have remembered a very unpleasant experience with a beer in Belgium.

It was made from cherries, and was called something like "Gueuze".

It tasted like the aftertaste from a particularly prolific chunder.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   23-07-03 19:34

I'm really sorry to bring this back to the top of the board again, but a dishonourable mention must go to Friary Meux ales in a pub or two in Guildford when I was University reprobate in the early 80's.

Escape the John Bull in the Union to be confronted with Friary Meux. Enough to chase us back up the hill, which I am sure is what the locals wanted.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   24-07-03 00:12

Hmmm, forgot about that one ! Wasn't Meux the noise made by sticking your head down the toilet ??!!

Some other emetics/diarrhoetics arising in conversation.....

Kaltenburg Lager (in Moorland pubs I think)

Kestrel Lager by Youngers (not tried that)

Shag, a lager in Scotland I'm lead to believe........ which after you've had one, you don't fancy one !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   24-07-03 11:35

...... and this is what the really posh people used on their Party 4s or 7s......



Us poor students could only afford to bash a hole in the top with a screwdriver !

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   24-07-03 12:35

An awful memory is emerging. Perhaps it is false memory syndrome or a confusion brought about by an unfortunate combination of ideas. It is brown, sticky and warm and tastes like something cleaned off the floor in a glue factory. We're talking TOBY ALE here. Tell me I'm confused, please.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   24-07-03 12:59

No, I think you're right , Chris. Toby was also sold in those huge great half-gallon cans. And Subtel's talking krapp. Us posh folk out Barking way never used those doofer-doinks for our Party Sevens. We HAD them, sure, but we could never work out how to fit them without getting side-splashed by the following explosion.
I think that "Gueuze" beer, or whatever it 's called, the one that Barney Burnham wrote about was the one that I was trying to think of about a hundred and seventy-odd postings back. It has a little chicken on the front and it gets my vote not only as the worst beer of all time, but, in joint first place with Vimto, as the worst DRINK of all time.
Russell O'C

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   24-07-03 13:12

What a wonderful picture that is, SubTel. God, it takes me back. Look at the head on that beer and you just know it's warm, don't you. Nice shot of a packet of fags beside and good old handled mugs.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   24-07-03 13:38

Russell........ there see !! Posh People....... you admitted you had one, the fact you couldn't use it is immaterial !!

Chris,

Yes, what horrid memories....... the beer was always warm, 'cos you'd just bought it from the offy on the way to the party !

I nicked the picture off of Ebay, as some saddo was trying to sell one

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   24-07-03 13:48

Don't know Ebay. Is it still for sale? Fabulous piece of Kitsch.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   24-07-03 14:35

Chris,

You've got 30 mins left on the auction...... still standing at ú2 with no bids

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3234014062&category=571

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: mash 
Date:   24-07-03 16:20

This is such an entertaining thread I'm starting it on the Leeds Tykes message board. Hope you don't mind!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: colin_m 
Date:   24-07-03 16:46

Would you mind making a move on the 'Mornington Crescent' thread, so that we can get that one rolling again too?

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   24-07-03 16:50

East Cheam

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: colin_m 
Date:   24-07-03 16:56

thanks ST, but on the original thread, dated 9/7

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: mash 
Date:   24-07-03 17:17

Can't get into the original thread Colin_m. I'll try again later and just maybe we at the Tykes will have a go at it. How about an across-all message boards version? It would simply (or circuitously) never, never end.....

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   25-07-03 16:28

I just remembered the old Dortmunder union bier. The regular Pilsner was pretty good but has anyone ever drunk the Alt.

I had a few weeks in Dortmund in November and December several years ago, and the blokes I was working with force fed me on this stuff. It tasted just like someone elses earole wax, and it is the only beer I have ever drunk that the more you drink the worse it tastes.

Truly disgusting.

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   25-07-03 21:34

RFB, exactly HOW did you know it tasted like someone else's earwax?

I think we should be told.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   26-07-03 12:44

Catholic Schooling Loobs.

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   26-07-03 14:24

You know, there's usually a sound evolutionary reason for biological things being the way they are. But can anyone tell me , why the hell should earwax be so bitter?

Russell O'C
Having thought a bit more about it, it's probably to stop us eating it. But surely to Jayzes it's not poisonous, is it?...IS IT?!

Modified 26/07/03 13:26:51

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Reading_Fatboy 
Date:   26-07-03 15:31

Well Russell.

It was practically a staple on the diet at my primary school and I'm still here.

Twoheadsfatboy

FATBOY

Siiiiiiiiiiiing yer hearts out for the lads

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   26-07-03 16:01

I can see it now......

"New Government survey shows that 85% of children prefer eating earwax to brussel sprouts"

"ú40,000 prize goes to Pile of Earwax exhibition at the Tate Gallery"

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   26-07-03 21:54

Oi, you lot, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Deviants, that's what you are. Musing on why is ear wax so bitter????


PLEASE let there be rugby again SOOOOOOOOONNNNN.

Is this what it's going to be like in January/Feb when we have effectively another off-season-ish?

God help us.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   28-07-03 10:21

Has anybody, as part of an a weight loss attempt (because I can't think of any other reason) tried drinking those bottles of Holstein Pils.

I've been doing a bit of that lately.

Its name very nearly describes its taste.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   28-07-03 10:35

I tried it many many years ago........ what a waste of time !! One bottle at a time just never seemed enough, so I always ended up putting 2 in a pint glass...... in hindsight, somewhat defeated the object of the exercise methinks....... and I never lost any weight. Tried the same with Carlsberg Special Brew....... the idea was to drink less volume with similar alcohol intake...... just kept getting pis*ed !

Ho, hum ! I've failed again this summer to lose a bit of weight before next seasons AG onslaught

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: BrianC 
Date:   28-07-03 10:54

Q - What's the difference between snot and brussel sprouts?

A - No matter how hard you try you can never get children to eat brussel sprouts.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Aiken Drum 
Date:   28-07-03 18:32

Now there's a thread killer.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   28-07-03 22:31

That's what you think...

Albright bitter. Godawful stuff, explains why there are a lot of unhappy Welsh people.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: The Pub Landlord 
Date:   28-07-03 22:37

I had to stop selling Carlsberg Special Brew....

... Anyone stocking more than 6 bottles could justifiably called a 'Dealer'

TPL

It does exactly what it says on the tin!!!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   28-07-03 22:47

Special Brew certainly was leathal stuff !

However, the version of "snake bite" using Tennants Extra Strength and Diamond White was even worse

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   28-07-03 22:54

Nurdin & Peacock (purveyors of Happy Shopper)'s own brand cheap super lager - 9.0% and Asda cider.

Has to be the most sediment produced by any combination of drinks I have seen.

It was vile stuff too, head-splitting stuff.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: ChrisW 
Date:   30-07-03 11:02

Dog's Boll*cks.

Now, I'm not saying it's the worst beer because I have never drunk it. However, it deserves a mention here as it was the cause of a radio classic.
Did anyone hear that interview on the Today Programme a couple of years ago between Sue McGregor and a woman with a cut-glass accent from the Portman Society (dedicated to promotion of high standards in public life).
Some comedian at radio 4 gave that one to Sue McGregor.
Imagine, if you will, the cut-glassed one pompously holding forth about the name 'Dog's Boll*cks' appearing on bottles oof beer on public sale and Sue McGregor, as is the way with Today programme interviews, defending it.
As it went on I sat up in bed conscious that I was priviledged to hear this classic being made live on the air.
That would be one of my Desert Island Discs.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: MrsGoz 
Date:   30-07-03 11:30

Sorry to do this, but Russell, how do you know earwax tastes bitter?

What on earth would persuade you to try it?

Do you taste what comes out of every orrifice? (It is likely I will come to regret askingthis question!)

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   30-07-03 11:55

Claire,
The spirit of scientific enquiry moves me in mysterious ways. It is my driving muse at all times. Like the first guy to try tripe or Tipperary drisheens (we owe that guy a lot).
There are, though, a couple more orifices to be explored; let's just test the Nobel Prize waters on the earwax front first before rushing into other murkier ponds to explore.

SlÓn leat go foill,
Russell

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: MrsGoz 
Date:   30-07-03 12:34

I think maybe this thread should be advertised to anyone seeking a miracle weight-loss programme. I seem to have gon off my lunch!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   30-07-03 13:43

Just ladle a few spoonsfull of your wonderful gravy over it; you'll soon get your appetite back!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: MrsGoz 
Date:   30-07-03 13:44

Mmm, gravy!!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   31-07-03 07:21

Russ, Tipperary drisheens? Do tell.

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   31-07-03 08:55

They're a kind of white pudding, rather similar to a French "delicacy" known as andouillettes. How to describe them both while doing full justice to their exclusive texture and flavour?
Right. Imagine you're eating either kidneys or liver, or a mÚlange of both. You know how you have to winkle out all the veins and threads ( I suppose that in the case of the kidneys that'd be the urine ducts) and leave them on the side of your plate? Well' imagine now chucking away all the liver and kidney and eating all the veins ( or, in the case of the kidneys, the urine ducts), and there you have it, a sausage made up of stuff you'd only consider eating if someone rushed into the restaurant screaming "The potato crop's failed!"
And a hundred and fifty years down the line people say "Wow, super, Darling! You can almost taste the bog in these gorgeous drisheens!" or " Superbe! Absolument superbe, ChÚrie. Ces andouillettes sont vraiment dÚlicieuses!"
And yous guys are bothered by a bit of juicy earwax! 'sa funny old world, I say 'sa funny old world!
Bon appetit,
Russell

Modified 31/07/03 07:57:29

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   31-07-03 09:22

Well, you learn something new every day. Even my Gran, famous for her nettle cooking, God rest her, never foisted that feast upon us. Feast foisting, try saying that with a few dogs bollocks inside!

I feel like I'm glad I missed those particular Tipp delicacies

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: SubTel 
Date:   31-07-03 10:12

Russell,

I'm going to be very weary of anything you offer me from your sandwich box at future matches !!

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: russell o'callaghan 
Date:   31-07-03 12:22

You know those increasingly frequent "has the whole world gone feckin' mad except for me" moments? Well, the first time I ever ( what am I saying?..." the FIRST time"_the ONLY time, God forbid) that I ever ate andouillettes was in a lovely restaurant in France somewhere along the river Loire, Chenonceaux, I think it was.
It was advertised as a "speciality of the region". Everyone was having it and all around me people were saying how wonderful they tasted. It was like being in that Hans Andersen story about the king with no clothes on and everyone around remarking how gorgeous he looked.
No one could POSSIBLY have enjoyed it. the andouillettes even had, like, grit in them ( I expect that was bits of pounded up kidney stone).
.....Don't you often get the feeling that quite a few things that everyone raves about these days...paintings...sculptures...weird grub..is a bit like those andouillettes and the luvvies that were scoffing them?
Is that the time already? I'm a tad peckish, aren't you?
Bon appetit,
Russ O'C

Modified 31/07/03 11:33:13

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Kealy 
Date:   31-07-03 12:34

Where can you get this stuff....oh its not beer. doesn't count then

Modified 31/07/03 11:34:43

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: Loobs 
Date:   31-07-03 12:34

Russell, I know exactly what you mean, luvvie, dahling

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 Re: What is the worst beer ?

Author: AG Assassin... 
Date:   31-07-03 13:37

Been away from this thread for a little while, but I notice ST has listed Kaltenburg Pils on the offenders list.

From my Pub Landlord days, if memory serves me it was Allied Breweries (which then became Allied-Tetley and now Carlsberg Tetley) competition for the legandary Holstein Pils it was serioulsy TBA (truly bloody awful)...





Modified 31/07/03 12:39:39

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